🕯 SOUL CARE – PRINCIPLE #5
HEALING WOUNDS
Inspired by Dr. Rob Reimer’s Soul Care
GOD REDEEMS YOUR PAIN
The gospel is bigger than forgiveness.
Most Christians understand justification. We understand that Christ died for our sins. We know that through faith we are declared righteous before God. We know we are saved from wrath. But many believers stop there.
Redemption, biblically understood, is not merely legal—it is restorative.
Isaiah 53:4–5 declares:
“Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows…
He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed.”
The Hebrew word translated “griefs” can mean pain. “Sorrows” refers to suffering. Isaiah does not merely speak of guilt; he speaks of anguish.
Jesus did not go to the cross only to cancel your debt.
He went to the cross to carry your pain.
That includes emotional pain.
That includes relational trauma.
That includes shame.
That includes grief.
That includes abandonment.
Redemption involves making us whole.
WHY FORGIVENESS IS NOT THE END OF THE STORY
Many believers believe that once they forgive, they are finished.
But forgiveness and healing are not identical.
Forgiveness is an act of obedience.
Healing is a process of restoration.
Imagine someone breaks your arm. You forgive them. That is right. But forgiveness does not set the bone. Healing still must occur.
Likewise, you may have forgiven:
- The parent who abandoned you.
- The spouse who betrayed you.
- The leader who abused authority.
- The friend who rejected you.
- The person who violated your trust.
But the wound may still exist beneath the surface.
Forgiveness releases the offender.
Healing restores the soul.
WHAT ARE DEEP WOUNDS?
Deep wounds are moments in life where something happened that your soul did not have the maturity or resources to process.
You may have been too young.
Too afraid.
Too overwhelmed.
Too alone.
So you survived.
But survival is not healing.
Examples of deep wounds include:
- Emotional abandonment
- Physical abuse
- Sexual trauma
- Chronic criticism
- Rejection
- Humiliation
- Betrayal
- Neglect
- Love deprivation
Often, in those moments, something else happened beneath the surface:
A lie formed.
“I am unwanted.”
“I am unlovable.”
“I am unsafe.”
“God does not protect me.”
“I have to control everything.”
“I can’t trust anyone.”
That lie becomes a lens. And through that lens, you interpret the rest of life—including God.
THE LENS OF PAIN
Unhealed wounds distort perception.
A child abandoned by a father may grow into an adult who feels that God is distant. Even when Scripture says otherwise, their heart whispers, “He will leave.”
A woman raised in criticism may hear sermons about grace yet feel that God is perpetually disappointed.
A man humiliated publicly may become driven by performance, believing worth must be earned.
Wounds don’t merely create pain—they create patterns.
And those patterns affect:
- Marriage
- Parenting
- Friendships
- Ministry
- Theology
- Prayer life
The presenting problem is rarely the root problem.
Anger may mask shame.
Control may mask fear.
Withdrawal may mask grief.
Addiction may mask trauma.
Symptoms are not the disease.
GOD DOES NOT AUTHOR EVIL—BUT HE REDEEMS IT
One of the most important theological clarifications in Soul Care is this:
God did not ordain abuse against you.
James 1:13 says:
“God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone.”
God does not cause rape.
God does not engineer molestation.
God does not create betrayal.
But He is so sovereign and so good that He can redeem what He permits.
Romans 8:28–29 reminds us:
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God…
For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son.”
Notice the goal: conformity to Christ.
God does not waste suffering.
He turns arrows meant to destroy you into instruments that refine you.
That does not trivialize trauma.
It dignifies redemption.
PROCESSING YOUR PAST
Sooner or later, maturity requires courage.
Paul writes:
“When I became a man, I put away childish things.” (1 Corinthians 13:11)
Putting away childish things does not mean pretending your childhood did not shape you.
It means acknowledging how it shaped you—and choosing to grow beyond it.
Many adults still respond to present conflict with reactions formed in childhood.
- Avoidance learned in a volatile home.
- Control learned in chaos.
- Silence learned under criticism.
- Anger learned under shame.
Processing your past is not about blaming your parents.
It is about taking responsibility for your baggage so you can put it down.
You cannot heal what you refuse to face.
HEALING THE SOUL
Healing is not formulaic.
It is relational.
BIG PRINCIPLE #1:
God is not trying to fix you—He wants relationship.
Often we approach healing wanting relief. We want God to remove discomfort.
But if God instantly removed all distress, some of us would drift from dependence.
God is after intimacy.
Healing flows from relationship.
When we seek Him—not merely symptom relief—we discover wholeness.
We are often more interested in comfort.
God is more interested in Christlikeness.
BIG PRINCIPLE #2:
God knows what needs healing.
James 1:5 says:
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God…”
The Holy Spirit is precise.
You do not need to excavate every painful memory recklessly. Ask Him.
Often one key event surfaces—the one where a lie formed.
That moment may not be the most dramatic trauma of your life. But it may be the hinge on which your identity shifted.
God knows what you do not know.
Trust Him.
BIG PRINCIPLE #3:
Tell your story.
When someone tells their story slowly and honestly, patterns emerge.
- The wound
- The lie
- The vow
For example:
A child abandoned may vow: “I will never depend on anyone.”
That vow protects the child.
But it sabotages intimacy in adulthood.
The presenting problem may be “I struggle with closeness.”
The real issue may be an abandonment wound.
Listening matters.
Often the Holy Spirit reveals insights as the story unfolds.
BIG PRINCIPLE #4:
Only God heals the soul.
Counselors can listen.
Pastors can pray.
Friends can care.
But only Jesus heals.
Healing happens in the presence of Christ.
Sometimes shame blocks the encounter.
Shame makes people look down.
Reimer shares stories of people who, in prayer, could only see Jesus’ feet—because shame kept their eyes lowered. When shame broke, they saw His face—and wept.
Jesus heals shame.
He heals abandonment.
He heals rejection.
He heals grief.
THE ROLE OF FORGIVENESS IN HEALING
Forgiveness is non-negotiable.
But forgiveness alone does not always remove the wound.
Forgiveness releases the offender.
Healing restores the injured heart.
Sometimes we say we forgive—but bitterness remains because the wound remains unhealed.
True healing closes spiritual doors.
Ephesians 4:27 warns not to “give place to the devil.”
Unforgiveness, shame, and bitterness create footholds.
Healing seals them.
FOLLOWING THE SPIRIT’S LEADING
Healing may come:
- Through prayer
- Through meditation on Scripture
- Through counsel
- Through time
- Through encounter
Meditation is biblical.
Psalm 1 describes the blessed man who meditates on God’s law day and night.
Sometimes the Spirit uses Scripture to reveal Christ’s presence in painful memory.
When someone meditates on John 8 (the woman caught in adultery), they may discover not condemnation—but compassion.
Jesus is the healer.
We are not.
Our goal in Soul Care is not to fix people.
Our goal is to help them meet Jesus.
REDEMPTIVE SUFFERING
Sometimes healing is dramatic.
Sometimes it unfolds over years.
God may not remove every consequence immediately.
But He can transform how the wound shapes you.
Suffering, when surrendered, becomes sanctifying.
The cross demonstrates that the worst evil can produce the greatest redemption.
Jesus does not waste pain.
SPIRITUAL ACTION STEPS
- Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal a major wound.
- Identify the lie that formed.
- Renounce the lie.
- Forgive those involved.
- Invite Jesus into the memory.
- Receive truth.
- Walk forward in relationship.
Healing is not about forgetting.
It is about remembering with Jesus present.
FINAL DECLARATION
Jesus did not die merely to forgive you.
He died to restore you.
There are places in your soul only He can reach.
He is willing.
He is near.
And He heals.